Erika started first grade on Aug 31st. It was such an exciting day for her, but I'll admit it was a little bit sad for me, and for Kyle. I think we all adjusted to the initial change a lot better than I had anticipated. I had been preparing myself for this for weeks before the big day came. I was starting to feel a little sad that I'd be losing my little buddy ALL DAY LONG!! Having kindergarten last year was a good preparation time for me to get used to the idea. I cried when I dropped her off last year. And, Kyle was even worse than me. He cried and didn't want to leave her classroom. I pretty-much had to pry him off of her and take him out. He was very distraught about losing his playmate. I'm just glad that kindergarten wasn't a whole day thing. The half day helped both of us adjust to the change a little easier, so this year wasn't quite as hard.
The night before school, I told Kyle about Erika going to school all day and he got really sad. But he's done okay. I actually put Kyle in preschool two days a week because I knew it would be lonely for him to have Erika gone all day long and it will give him some time to get out. He will have two years of preschool but I think he can use it. We have been trying to work with him at home on "school" but I know I could've done way better this summer.
It has actually been really nice to just be home with Kyle and Heidi now. Kyle has become my new "little buddy" and helper. He has "blossomed" now that he is the big brother and I have noticed that he talks a lot more with me now, one on one (since Heidi doesn't talk yet.) I look forward to spending more time with him and strengthening our relationship. I also think Kyle will enjoy preschool and I'm excited for him to learn and to gain some confidence in his abilities.
I really do miss my little girl, though. Now that we are into the swing of things, it is starting to hit me that this is forever--- and it scares me a little. She will no longer be home with me all day, except for during the summer- for the next 12 years! Aaah! I am a little nervous about the increasing influence others will have on her (teachers, friends, etc) versus the influence she has had at home. It makes me feel a little helpless in a way. It also makes me want to be so much better during the times she is home- to be a positive influence and to teach her more intently. As my time with her diminishes, the quality of that time will need to increase. This is one reason I would actually consider home-school, simply because it can be so much more customized to my child and I can teach her what I think she needs. But, I will readily admit my limitations and I don't think I can give her what they can at school, either. And, she LOVES school, too. It is what she wants. And eventually, like it or not, I will have to let go and let her fly. All I can do is teach her and then she will be left on her own. (I can't even imagine how it will feel someday when she leaves home for good. I don't think I can even comprehend it yet.)
It haven't been able to be too sad about the big day simply because Erika was sooo excited!!! Every day for 2 weeks she was counting down the days. She drew pictures and wrote letters to her new teacher. She couldn't wait!! So, I was excited for her. She loves school and learning, socializing. And, I'm sure her new teacher will LOVE having Erika in her class. She tries so hard to be good and excels in whatever is put before her. I am so proud of my little girl. I hope this is a good experience for her!
